My husband informed me he had to go out of town for work next week. I thought I heard a joyful giggle when he said it. So, I called him on it and he broke out in total laughter and replied "maybe!"

A Child's Quote, age 16

Phone rings...
"Mom the car broke down. It started shaking and it died. I'm walking home. Andrew is going to stay and fix it."  

A high school conversation.

Child one: Did you try out for pit orchestra?
Child two: No. Pit composers are elitist fucking bastards who don't write viola parts.

AND that is how my night started...

It's one of "THOSE" days.

The school called today. Charles was injured. He will be okay. He was hit by a flying shoe. On the playground. While he was on the lying ground. In his suit and tie! (Picture day)

Nog Taste Test...

1 vote for almond. 2 votes for coconut. 1 vote for cinnamon vanilla. The cinnamon one was the best tasting, just not nog.

So... This happened.

 I get a call from the school. William has a headache and just broke out into a fever. I pick him up. He's feeling better, so I take him to Culvers. He earned a free kids meal at school. We order. We sit down. He eats his Apple sauce and drinks his tea. He's feeling sleepy. We Pack up the burger and order his ice cream to go. We stood there waiting for the ice cream for forever or about four minutes depending on how you look at it. They hand the cup to me. I look down. William is making a fish face. I say "what's wrong." He tips his head up and mumbles "I just threw up in my mouth." I had him run to the men's room. Over the next ten minutes I watch the door slightly open and close three times, but he never comes out. His ice cream was 100% melted by the time he finally left the restroom. He looked at me and said "great I just threw up my Apple sauce and medicine." I took him to the car. He said nothing, not a word more until half way home. When he speaks again, he asks "Do you think I should have told someone I threw up all over the floor and in the sink?"

A Child's Quote, age 19

"Hey mom, Today you entrusted your three older children to make an extremely simple gingerbread train. Well we clearly were not qualified for this task and these are the results..."

“I am thankful for”

My beautiful Charles wrote an “I am thankful for” list for November.
1. My mom and dad.
2. My birds.
3. My stuffed animals.
4. My teacher.
5. My school.
6. My food.
7. My toys.
8. My books.
9. My cards. (I think this is his Pokémon collection)
10. My money.

"Why Robert, why!"

Last night when I went to bed my car was locked and my keys were on the table. At 9 am my keys were not in the table. After a three hour search inside and outside of the house I found my keys in a box of water in the unlocked trunk of my car. Why ROBERT, WHY!!!

"the meanest mom in the world"

Tonight I was told I was the meanest mom in the world and a terrible person... I made someone do their chore. It was the dishes. We have a dish washer. I did them earlier and there were only a few left. Dishes were thrown around, dropped, and cracked. There was yelling and tears about how difficult it was. After 5 minutes I called off the drama with the wave of my hand and my calm yet oddly frightening mom voice I said "You can finish quietly. If you are too stressed to do the dishes I can always pull you out of all extra school activities to free up your time." .... Silence and the dishes are clean.


Well, I broke the bad news (about One Direction breaking up) to my daughter & by her reaction you would believe it was somehow my fault. I wish I had that kind of power.

"Abandoned America"

Tonight we cuddled up in bed and turned on a documentary. It's just something we do for fun. Our pick "Abandoned America". It sounds safe. A little history. A little questioning. A little learning. A little unexpected questioning after this... "The town was made up of 90% men, and half of the women were PROSTITUTES." Yes, they emphasized prostitutes. Then they talked about them three more times emphasizing the word. Who does that? You can use the word prostitute in a sentence without yelling it. Any Ways... Charles sits up and says "What's a prostitute?" I was going to tell him in my own special way, but right before I did, I laughed and said "Ask your daddy." Ha I can wait to hear what he tells them. The best part so far has been William who instantly called me on it and said "I bet you don't know what it is?" to him I replied "Your right, but your daddy is extra smart and he can tell you." They are now sleeping on daddy's side of the bed, waiting for him to come home and tell them what a prostitute is.

A Mom Thing

Imagine a world where you are a mom. Its been a long day. It's 10 pm, and you not only go to bed, but fall asleep. Now imagine it's, I don't know, 10:38 pm, you're asleep, in the dark, snoring. All of a sudden you hear "mom, Mom, MOm, MOM!" You jump out of bed and the rest of the story goes "I need printer paper." So now, lets say you find the paper, that was next to the printer, you throw yourself back into bed and by some miracle fall back asleep. Then it's 10:55 pm and you hear "mom, Mom, MOm, MOM!" You jump out of bed to hear "I need a stapler." Now you're feeling a little irritated. You look at the clock, process the family internet is set to go off in five minutes, so instead of going back to bed, you go on facebook, because you know what's coming next... "mom, Mom, MOm, MOM! Can I use your computer?"

The Printer is My Friend

16 year old: Mom something is wrong with the printer. My computer said it is out of something.
Me: Did you check the paper?
16 year old: Its not the paper.
Me: Is it the ink levels?
16 year old: It's not the ink levels. Its something else.
Me: Did you check the ink levels.
16 year old: It's not the ink levels.
Me: The last time I used the printer it was running low on black ink. Try to print again and select the option that mixes colored ink for black.
16 year old: It's not the ink levels and besides you can do what you just said, its not possible, you don't know what your talking about.
Me: Okay, I hear you are telling me the printer is out of something. It is not ink or paper.
16 year old: That's what I said.
Me: Then what is it out of.
16 year old: I don't know, that's why I told you.
Me: It's a simple home printer. It can either be out of ink or paper, there are no other options. I think you should go upstairs and look at the printer.
16 year old: You are not getting it. The printer us out of something else.
Me: What! Please tell me what it's out of. No, don't, just email me what you want to print and I will do it for you.
16 year old: It won't work.
Me: Just email it to me. (Yes, I did yell that)
... I go upstairs to print the papers off my computer only to find them sitting on the printer already printed...


There is a serious illness going around. It starts with a sore right ankle. Then it moves to a limp in your left leg. All of a sudden you can't move your leg and you have to drag it behind your body. It's scary because the limp leg goes from left to right to left again. Then there is relief and you can gallop, but only because you don't need to really bend your legs to do it. After resting it gets much worse. You can't walk up stairs or hold your upper body up. You collapse to the floor. When no one is looking you can pull off a fairly nice dance routine. The worst part of this terrible illness comes at bedtime. You all of a sudden have knee pain, your head hurts, go "blind", you can't walk, pain overcomes your arms, you feel dizzy, you can't hear, you stomach hurts, and you feel like you might throw up. Apparently there are two ways to cure this illness. The 1st according to a seven year old is go to the hospital. The second one is a little more cost effective. All you to is lower your eyebrows, change the tone of your voice, and say "Go to bed, NOW." poof... Instantly all better.

New Rule:

If you are a medical anything and I owe you money and I call the number listed on the bill and your automated system puts me on hold for over 15 minutes while I wait for a person, I put your bill in the pay next month pile.

I can fly

Every day Robert tries to fly. It started on the couch. He added props. A cape to a blanket, to a hat, to a stick, to a special shirt. Each new location needs to be tried out with each new prop. You never know when one will work. He has attempted to fly off of every bed, couch, and chair. When the flying moved to the kitchen, I had to set some guidelines that were not appreciated. I've been told I prevented man from flight. He took a few days off to come up with a plan AND today I yelled my first "NO". I have been labeled the unfair meanie pants mommy. In his defense he was only going to leap off the top basement stair with a comforter tied around his waist. I can't see how that could go wrong.

The 2015 MN State Fair: Singalong

The Fair has released the play list for the Giant Sing Along. This is a favorite stop for the family. Once again my unique song suggestion did not make the list, Star Wars: The Saga Begins by Weird Al Yankovic. On the plus side, Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond and Don't Stop Believing by Journey are back to back. I have a feeling I will know where my family will be during that time.

You can check out the play list here:

The 2015 MN State Fair: It's a $1 thing

Each year you can find a variety of items at the fair for $1 or less. Not a lot of items, but enough to make a trip to the fair a little less expensive. Below is the fairs list of Buck or Less items, along with a few comments from me.

Caramel Apples, Cotton Candy, Sno Kones (This $1 snokone may be small, but it is the perfect size for a warm day and a fun fair treat.)
·         sno kone

Dairy Goodness Bar (My kids love to stop by here and pick up some cheese or a yogurt. We save our milk purchase for the all you can drink spot)
·         8 oz milk (chocolate or white)
·         1 oz. cheese stick (cheddar, mozzarella, smoked mozzarella, pepper jack)
·         6 oz. yogurt
·         4 oz. Greek yogurt

Daryl's Dog House (I’ve never been here. Chips at the fair, just aren’t my thing.)
·         Bags of chips

Frontier Bar (Another deal I have not tried yet. This year it’s on our list.)
·         Frontier Dog
·         24 oz. popcorn
·         cup of salted in shell peanuts

ICandy Sugar Shoppe (If you have little kids this might be fun. We prefer the fudge on a stick blue ribbon book coupon)
·         candy necklaces

Minnesota Cultivated Wild Rice (I honestly have no idea what this deal is for. I’m going to try and find out this year. If you’ve been here, please leave a comment and let me know what you think)
·         Quick Cooking Wild Rice

Rutana's Hot Apple Dumplings (My husband gets free coffee with his breakfast burrito purchase in the morning. Unless it’s an unusually cold day, there is no need for our family to stop here for coffee.)
·         Coffee

Ultimate Confections (This is my favorite place on the list. I recommend a stop here for everyone. I think these are the most perfect sized, best deal, sweet treat at the fair.)
·         Dipped pretzels, marshmallows, licorice, s’mores, cow pops

An August St. Patrick's Day Story

I'm not naming names... I'm just saying someone in my house over the age of 21, put green food die in their beer and chased it with Irish cream, several times. Then that person threw up in the fire and passed out. All of this was before 9 pm.

The 2015 MN State Fair: Family Favorite’s, The Blue Ribbon Book.

The anticipation for the Blue Ribbon Book to arrive in our home is crazy high. There are arguments over who gets to look though the coupons first. Below is a list of my family’s favorite top 10 places to stop with our Blue Ribbon Book Coupons. With only the items listed below we will save over $30. The book is only $5 and worth every penny. This year we will buy three.

Falafel King
·         $2 off one falafel on-a-stick
Farmers Union Coffee Shop
·         $2 off one 12 oz. or 20 oz. Minnesota Farmers Union Frappé
French Creperie
·         $2.50 off any breakfast, lunch, dinner or berry crêpe
Green Mill
·         Buy one slice of pizza and get the second slice FREE! 
Isabel Burke's Olde Tyme Taffy
·         $4.50 off one mega-size taffy tub
Jacobs Lefse
·         $2.25 off one package of lefse
Mighty Midway
·         $8 off one $25 sheet of 30 ride & game tickets
RC Cola
·         $1.50 off one large 20 oz. soft drink
Vegie Fries
·         $2 off one order of vegie fries or potato ‘n’ onion fries
West End Creamery

·         Buy one jumbo ice cream float (any flavor) and get one FREE! 

Great Grandma...

I'm not sure what was in grandma's coffee this morning, but... She just asked for chaps and a pony to ride.

Quote of the day

Charles "Mom can I have a baby sister? They come with stickers."

Mom "No and umm NO!"

Okay, now that I have your attention... What he actually said was "Mom can I have the babysitters (book series)? They come with stickers." Oh the fun of being a mom with hearing issues. AND the answer was still no.

1st Grade Update

Apparently 1st graders are not all digital yet and still have an underground trading system. The cost for this calendar is only one sheet of Elsa stickers. Someone cried when I took it away. He and I quote "Just wanted to look at the pretty girls".

Easter Morning!

Someone was hiding eggs and sneaking then into their bedroom. They were caught by William. This leads me to what may be the quote of the year.

William looks at me and with a calm serious face says "It was suspicious because his hands were on his penis."

... We tossed that candy..

2015 Review: Olive Garden

Price Range
·         Kids Meals: $5 - $6
·         Lunch: $12 average
·         Dinner: $18 average
·         Deserts: $3 - $8
·         Non-Alcoholic Beverages: $3 - $5

In general I like Olive Garden. They are by no means the best Italian food restaurant out there, but they have good food at okay prices. Most important for me is the great job the do providing nutrition and food allergy information ( For this alone I would give them an A+.

To be specificI was at the Maplewood, MN Olive Garden for lunch…

The service on the day I was there was good. The food came out right away and was warm. The interior building was clean. The server was nice. Nothing struck me as being terrible or needing to be fixed. At the same time, nothing struck me as being amazing.

My trip to the Maplewood Olive Garden left me feeling satisfied and slightly over stuffed. Their breed sticks are a not so healthy, yet delicious comfort food. My final grade for this restaurant is a solid B.

The 2015 MN State Fair: Admissions

I have entered the fairs creative activities and now it’s time to plan for the 2015 fair. This year the fair runs from August 27ththrough Sept 7th. Don’t wait until August to start planning your trip. Now is the time to pick the day(s) you will be going and pre-order your tickets.

Pre-fair tickets are on sale for $10 at a lot of Cub Foods stores and through the MN State Fair website. Regular priced tickets are $13 for adults (13-64), $11 for seniors (65+), and $11 for kids (5-12), under age 5 is FREE. For our family, for one day at the fair we save $18 by pre-ordering our tickets.

There is a little exception to the pre-fair tickets. Check the dates you are going first. The fair has several discount ticket days. This year they are:
August 27th – kids are only $8
August 31st – kids and seniors are only $8
September 1st – Military appreciation $8 across the board for active military, retired military and veterans when they purchase a ticket at the gate and present valid documentation of military service.
September 2nd – kids and seniors are $8 Discount applies to public library cardholders who purchase a ticket at the gate and present a valid library card. (One discount per card).
September 3rd – seniors $8
September 7th – kids are only $8

One thing to not as a change from years past. They no longer accept the pre-fair tickets for parking. You will now need to pay the full parking price if using a state fair lot.

I’ll be posting more State Fair Updates over the next few months come back to check them out.

Why I can't sleep in...

"Mommy, mommy, Robert is trying to roast marshmallows with a lighter and started the kitchen on fire."

Greatest Day...

So, I hear two voices, in two languages, none English, all from one person having a conversation with themselves in the kitchen. I wouldn't be doing my job as a mom if I didn't acquire more information. 
So I ask "Who's in the kitchen?"
It was William and it was at that moment he realized the conversation he thought he was having in his head was actually out loud. He started to giggle and get embarrassed. 
So I said "Welcome to the family, you're officially one of the odd ones."
It was at that moment that he realized others (unnamed) in the house do the same thing and he, at eight years old replied "ahh crap!" and walked away.

A Child's Quote, Age 6

"I love it when grandma comes over. Now it will be her rules, not yours, mama. Ha-ha!"

A Child's Quote, Age 13

"OMG! Today I had a new student teacher. She was like so old. I couldn't believe it. No, seriously she was like 27 or something."

New Friends...

Bob is blue. Teddy picked him(?) out & Anthony + Josephene named him.
Banana is yellow. Charles picked him(?) out & William + Robert named him.
That was the deal. 
Some "cheesecake" fans are going to need to get over it....

The New Boss

The Youngest Child: My brothers are doing a great job cleaning my bedroom.

The Mom: Wonderful, do you think you should go help since it's your bedroom?

The Youngest Child: No, I am the supervisor. Every great project needs a good supervisor.

A Child's Quote, Age 6

"Mommy, do not go into the basement. It's full of trip wires and traps."

A Child's Quote, Age13

"If I want to make iced tea, do I brew the tea in ice, or add the ice after it is done?"


Q: Why are there holes in my living room wall?
A: I wanted to see what was underneath the paint.

Q: Why is the hall covered in bathroom tiles?
A: I wanted it to look pretty.

Q: Why is your bedroom dresser upside down?
A: The wasn't me. It just fell.

Q: What happened to the bed?
A: I wanted to see if I could take it apart.

A Child's Quote, Age 13

"Sorry, I can't eat this cauliflower. It isn't part of my lifestyle choices."

A Child's Quote, Age 5

"Noooo, the Wii remote is on, and I'm not even using it! It's wasting its own batteries, and I can't turn it off."

Dear Snowplow Drivers, (Part 3)

Thank you for removing my mail box and transporting it a few housed down. I did not need it anyways.

A Short Story About What Happens When I Turn Off the TV and Send the Boys to the Playroom Alone

Robert: Mom you are wrong. Putting the trampoline on the couch is not dangerous. We put a mattress under it.

So we are all clear on what they did, they put a mattress on the couch, and then the trampoline on top of it.

Dear Snowplow Drivers, (Part 2)

Thank you for getting to my street two days after the snow stopped falling.

A Story of How the Boys Ended Up with an Early Bedtime for One Week

The Set Up: One 30 minutes show and then it is time for bed for everyone under the age of seven.

(Three boys run to mom)

William: Mom our show is done can we sleep on the couch.

Mom: Sure.

(Three boys run to the living room.)

Josephene (Yells): That's not fair.

... What happened two minutes earlier

Josephene: Okay, your show is done. It's time for you to go to your bedrooms now, I am going to watch a big kid show now.

(Three boys run to mom)